Advice for Melbournians
When it is so hot that the air burns your eyes and melts your face off, curl into the foetal position and pretend you are inside a womb. 100% guaranteed satisfaction.
This song goes out to a very special security light
"When people talk, listen completely."
Attention Optus Customer Care and all staff: please listen to Ernest Hemingway
No washing machine
Why can there not be both a fridge and a washing machine?
The bread is going off
The clothes are dirty
Dirty dirty dirty
Mould mould mould
When will there be appliances?
Double toaster is not enough.
Private screening, one night only.
There will be wine available upon request and a special house music playlist to get you in the mood
Rule #4 - more applicable than ever
Tea enjoying some David Byrne & St Vincent by candlelight.
I’m really enjoying living by candlelight. Overhead lightning is so ugly (especially energy saver lightbulbs).
Candlelight is actually a necessity though because the light is out in the bathroom and in Caroline’s room, and because the ceilings are so high we can’t reach to change them.
Do you own breasts? Do you own a candle? Do you own a mirror?
If you answered yes to all of this questions, stop what you are doing and light your candle. Turn off all other lights. Go to your mirror. Take off your shirt. Look at your boobs.
Congratulations, you have magical titties.